Ain’t no slump like a sophomore slump cause a sophomore slump hits hard.
I have so many drafts of posts ready to go as soon as they got a little more love, so I’m starting on that list by finishing the ones I said I’d start about my four years at UNC (if you followed that train of thought). For reference, here’s where I said I would do this. (And I’m going to back date this post so it’s like I never forgot to do it. Time travel! OooooOOOoooOoooo)
Back to the schlump. So sophomore year started out optimistically. I was living with three friends in a kickin’ dorm on south campus, getting more into the sorority life and considering a leadership position, and narrowing my interests by focusing on UNC Dance Marathon rather than 15 different clubs. I had made it through CHEM 101 and 102, and had a good start on my pre-med pre-requisites. Sophomore year is when things start to get serious. Other students begin being accepted to the professional schools and delving into their personal tracks.
Here’s the thing though. I had no clue what I was doing. I just wanted someone to tell me why everyone else in pre-med was having such an easy time knowing exactly what classes to take with whom, how to get started on research positions and where to shadow physicians. I asked my peers a lot of questions, but I knew I just wasn’t as into it as they were. I even talked to the super intimidating pre-med advisor, and he confirmed everything that I had heard: I could do it, but it would certainly suck along the way.
Not being thrilled about a life full of suck for the next 10 years, I decided to see where my heart was. To put it to the test, I decided to shadow a D.O. and an M.D. (a good family friend and my uncle, respectively). If I was still passionate about helping people, I would stay the track and suck it up like everyone else. I believe I shadowed my neighbor first. She’s an incredible physician at a back clinic (now she has her own practice elsewhere, but at the time she was at a back clinic) and let me watch x-ray guided procedures. It was super cool. She answered a ton of questions and I felt really good when I left. But not inspired. I shadowed my uncle in Michigan, where he’s a general practitioner, over spring break. He was very welcoming and let me observe his hospital visits as well as clinic visits. It was so easy to see that his patients loved him and trusted him. Again, a great experience, but not inspired.
It didn’t add up. I had always loved my science classes and had a great memory for anatomy and the different systems, drugs and diagnoses. I knew I wanted to enter a field where I was helping people. So why wasn’t I enjoying medicine? First semester, I tried taking organic chemistry and dropped it when I found myself hating it. I knew at that point that I wasn’t happy, so why bother taking that class that could ruin my GPA forever. There’s one thing I should mention. I was not a purely math and science person in high school, or ever for that matter. There’s a tinge of hippie in my mom’s side of the family, so my sister and I were always encouraged to do what made our hearts happy: draw, run, play and immerse ourselves in the world around us. I found myself loving the arts, especially every form of the visual arts. I loved the creativity involved in expressing your own style and take on the world. I loved that I could use my hands to take my thoughts from inside my brain to outside where everyone else could see them.
So when it came to it, I realized that I was missing that sort of opportunity for expression and connecting with people on a deeper level. I didn’t like that in medicine it felt like it was treat one, on to the next. I most of all didn’t like that there was no room for creativity. That was one of the things I asked my uncle, once I realized that was how I felt. I asked him, where do you get to be creative? And he had a perfectly legitimate answer, that you can be creative in the questions you ask your patients in getting to know them, or in coming up with a treatment regimen. It just wasn’t the kind of creativity I was looking for.
That left a big freaking uh-oh in my life plans. By the time I realized I needed to go in a completely different direction, it was April of sophomore year. It was a long process of self-discovery, but ultimately I got lucky. My mom was a pharmacist, and she always had big dreams of me becoming a doctor. Literally. She told me once, “Last night I had a dream that you were a doctor and your patients loved you and it was the best dream ever! I’m so excited for you!” (Or something along those lines) Try saying “sorry, ix-nay on the octor-day, okay?” to the most supportive and happiest person in your life. She was never the kind of parent who hovered and demanded that I got good grades (although I still did) or pushed me in one direction over another. She was just happy for me no matter what. I didn’t realize that at the time, and was worried I would let her down. But, again, I was lucky. She said she was happy that I came to her and said what was on my mind, and that she knew I would succeed no matter what I did. (Seriously! How did I get so lucky?)
Lucky for two reasons, actually. One, Mom. Two, my perfect path was right in front of me. When I signed up for UNC Dance Marathon freshman year, I told myself it was at least partially for the experiences it offered me in a hospital. I had been considering pediatrics and loved helping people, so UNC-DM was a perfect fit. But, plot twist, I was placed on the Publicity committee, not Hospital committee like I had originally hoped. I was bummed for about 3 minutes when I found out freshman year, but stuck with it because I was surrounded by awesome people. And I’m not a quitter (okay fine except for medicine, but that was for a really good reason so back off). Publicity was fun. So I started asking around because I really looked up to those awesome creative people. And they told me I should try the J-school. A few of them were advertising, so I started there with an intro to Ad/PR class. And I loved it. (Hey Joe Bob! That was your class! Good times.) I met more people who I thought were really cool and decided yeah, I could enjoy doing this for a job.
Around the same time of my big realization, I moved into the sorority house (I got priority because I was a chapter officer, philanthropy chair), and spent spring semester there. After getting over that hump, the rest of sophomore year flew by.
Other highlights from sophomore year: being the website subchair for UNC-DM, starting Kappa’s Q for the Cause event (now in its fourth year!), crowd surfing during the annual finals week rave.
Sophomore year was not a good year in the music world. It was the year of Call Me Maybe, case in point. It was also the year that I caught onto the One Direction trend and Britney Spears tried to do another comeback. I went on an 80s kick because the current music was such a letdown. Well, what happened is in the past. There’s my playlist. Take a trip down memory lane or whatever.