The adult we all want to be

Lately I’ve been taking time to catch up with friends I haven’t seen in a few months– not all of them, but at least a few. It’s been awesome to hear from them. I miss them all like crazy. I’m not hung up on it or anything, but sometimes when I have a quiet moment I miss the days when friends could appear minutes after receiving a text. Now they’re states and timezones away, or without technology in one case. For 99% of my friends, FaceTime and texting is a great way to get caught up. Very regulated letters for the one technology-less guy. He’s going through officer training with the Navy for the next couple of months.

In getting caught up with my friends, all of the conversations have steered towards being an adult and adjusting to grown up life. All of us have that perfect adult life that we aspire to. Here are some overlaps I’ve heard:

Unfazed by anything: So your favorite coffee shop only has half and half, but no nonfat milk? It’s all good. Your brand new apartment that is currently eating too much of your paycheck just busted a water leak? On it. Boss needs that slide deck in 15 minutes? No biggie.

Does productive things after work: That means at 5:01 p.m. you don’t go home and immediately nap or binge watch Netflix. You’re signed up for your city’s recreational kickball league, and your team happens to kick ass.

Has a cool hobby: Perhaps it’s cultivating an herb garden, or hiking every single state park on the weekends. Maybe you’re the most kickin’ knitter the world has ever met. Whatever it is, you have something that makes you happy and you stick with it.

Packs your own lunches: Some days it might be a peanut butter and jelly, in all its elementary school glory. But some days you go all out like those moms on Pinterest. You took the 10 extra minutes in the morning to pull something out of the vast wasteland that is your fridge and tied it up with a bow so mid-day zombie you might crack a smile. Also let’s talk about how much money that saves, because you’re a responsible adult with things like budgets.

Speaking of budgets…: You squirrel away every spare quarter and nickel you have so that one day, one day, you just might have enough to buy a new couch. Not that the blue stripe and stain patterned one from Craigslist isn’t great, but it’s time for an upgrade. Something a little more “you.”

Oh, and you have a style: Your apartment emits personality waves. All those DIY projects and hours spent moving furniture one inch to the left paid off to make the space your own. Your wardrobe? A carefully curated balance of mom’s vintage jewelry, investment coats, business casual and trendy pieces. It is so essentially you that you don’t actually need a monogram necklace to tell people who you are. …Do people still wear those? #sratlife

Takes pictures: It’s completely possible that a month will pass by and you’ll have been so busy you won’t realize it’s been a month. But luckily, you’re be the kind of adult who keeps mementos, takes pictures, and journals/blogs regularly. That way, you’ll have something to reminisce upon when life feels like a blur. You’ll have something to show your parents/kids/S.O./parrot (I don’t know your life) when you’re talking about the good times.

Confident: You don’t need a ThoughtCatalog article to tell you, “Yes, you’re a twentysomething, and you’ll probably be okay!” You got this, and you know it.



I wish you way more than luck

You’ll see I updated my tagline to a David Foster Wallace quote. It’s from the very end of his “This Is Water” speech if you’re listening to the full version, not the 9 minute version by The Glossary.

I’ll admit that I had a rough morning today. Things that are normally easy became especially difficult for who knows what reason. As soon as I got a lunch break, I listened to the full version of This Is Water, which as I’ve mentioned before, is my favorite speech. It was assigned for my Clinical Psychology course two days ago as homework, and I was more than happy to listen to it for a second time this week. I hadn’t actually heard the full version before this week, so I’m glad I did now. It offers a lot more context.

This speech always makes me feel better. Not necessarily that it goes “There, there, honey. You’ll be okay.” It reminds me to get out of the default setting and focus on what’s important. It gives me a great reason to move on from the trivial nips and stings that might be holding me back. And that’s really all I need to be reminded sometimes.

I’m happy to share my vulnerability in this blog post. I’m a human being. To do anything otherwise would be insincere. I think that some of the most beautiful moments are when people learn how to pick themselves up or lean on a friend. That’s when you learn the most about yourself and what motivates you. If you’re lucky and honest, you’ll be happy about what you find.

I’m blessed to have amazing support from my family and friends. I truly feel that they bring out the best in me. I am certainly an optimist (not deludedly so); I like to see the best in people and I believe wholeheartedly in positivity. But that doesn’t mean reality won’t lash out every once in a while. In those times, you just have to do what you can and learn from it. And hopefully, your support system will be there, just as strong as ever.

The reason I felt the compulsion to change my tagline is to keep reminding myself of that “capital T truth” DFW talks about, and also to acknowledge the many components of success, however you define it. I know this quote wasn’t the central message of his speech, but it resonates with me. And this is my blog so I’ll do what I want. (Sorry, bad morning me is still feeling a leeeetle bit feisty.)

Also– shoutout to my girl Mary for starting a blog! Proud of you 🙂 I can’t wait to listen to all of your playlists!


Running into old friends

Literally, running into old friends!

One of the things I love about living in Cary over the summer is that I don’t have to worry about seeing people I know when I look crummy, but tonight didn’t work out that way. Jenn and I crossed paths on our evening runs (she was already 1.5 hours into hers, I just started) and what I had planned on being a quick jog turned into an hour of catching up.

Let me start by saying she’s in way better shape than me, so when you imagine our conversations, you can imagine me being really out of breath.

It’s so crazy how similar our undergrad paths are, and also so different. Jenn is five years ahead of me as a member of the class of 2009. She and I are both 4-year dancers for UNC Dance Marathon, counselors for Camp Kesem, and members of Panhellenic organizations. We both also went through the experience of jumping around majors and pursuing many paths. That’s where we differ; she tended toward law and organizational development when I tend toward advertising and creative work. The weirdest part is that I had no idea of any of this. We fell out of touch, understandably, as she went to Carolina and got really busy, and then I started Carolina right after she graduated. But somehow we got involved in very similar avenues. Tell me that isn’t cool!

We spent a lot of time together during my middle school and her high school years. Jenn was a tutor/babysitter (realizing now that we were way too old for a babysitter, but that’s my parents) for my sister and I. We played tennis, did homework, prepared for her prom, talked about friends, asked for advice, went shopping, you name it. My parents loved having her around because she was undoubtedly a great influence on 13-year-old twins with too much energy, and we loved spending time with Jenn because we thought she was the coolest person in the history of ever.

Still do, by the way. And especially after our chat tonight! She is a grad student at Duke, employee at a consulting firm for the UN in New York and world traveler. It’s awesome to see her now a few years later and see how both of us have grown since our time in Cary together. I’m definitely at a turning point in my life since I’m about to graduate UNC in a year, and she’s at a major crossroads as well as she decides her future path. It’ll be interesting to see what’s next for both of us.

I’m not sure how to conclude this, so I’d rather not. Who says you have to tie up relationships neatly with a bow, and store them away for later? I say keep the book open and let the story continue. I probably won’t see her again for a while, but that just means we’ll have all the more to talk about next time.

Until next time!


A note and a post

“Well that’s a crappy title. Are those even two different things?” My impatient friend, yes they are. Now hold your judgment for a second while I actually type my note and my post.

A note on this blog: I believe in writing when inspiration strikes. Maybe inspiration comes in the form of an errant thought, nonetheless, I’m only going to write when I feel like I have something worth saying. I’m not going to write just to press keys on the keyboard. I’ve seen a lot of articles about how blogs block creativity and spontaneity, but I think if you write when you’re most equipped to write, you’ll be fine. For me, that might be at 11:38 p.m., right after I told myself it’s time for bed, but that’s when I’m going to write.

And a post:

As a society, we’ve really got to come up with a word for that great feeling after completing a lot of work, something that’s been nagging you for a long time. It’s euphoric, satisfying and relieving, almost like that feeling right after you pee when you’ve had to pee for the past, like, 7 hours. [I just used ‘like’ in non-spoken communication. Ugh. But it felt right.] This word could be…how do we feel about…psatisfaction. The p is silent. But it’s a new word and this is its meaning because I say so. Ta-da! Now that the rambly part of me has been indulged, I’ll tell you why I’m feeling psatisfied. [I’m not serious about this word, please don’t judge my ramblings.]

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